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You Deserve Happiness

When you have lived a life without happiness, you can begin to wonder if you deserve to be happy. You may begin to blame yourself for not being happy, or you may question if you even know how to be happy.

I am here to tell you that you deserve to be happy. You deserve all of the happiness you can find in your life. You deserve to live a life that fulfills you and encourages you to be the person you were meant to be.

Happiness used to scare me. I was afraid to be happy because I didn't think I deserved it and I feared that it would be taken away from me. When things were going right, and life was good, I would be waiting for something bad to happen. I wouldn't allow myself to experience happiness because I didn't want to be disappointed once it was taken away from me. I thought that by denying myself happiness, I was protecting myself from the inevitable pain when it would end.

Once I began to heal and realized I deserved happiness, I had to find the things that made me happy. I began to try the things that I had avoided my whole life because I was scared or didn't think I could do them. My family and I love the outdoors, but I often limit myself due to fear of failure. In order to find my happiness, I had to put those fears aside and do things for fun, not for accomplishment.

I decided that I wanted to kayak. My husband would often kayak, but I was terrified that something bad would happen to me if I did. So, we went kayaking and I was on my own. I had to learn how to paddle and maneuver my kayak so that I didn't run into anyone else. On one trip, I tried to turn and ran into a tree that was in the water. I laughed at my mistake, backed up, and tried again. I quit worrying about doing it right and just enjoyed where I was. I listened to the birds, looked at the scenery, and took it all in. Kayaking has quickly become one of my favorite things to do. Next, I want to try paddleboarding!

I try to be more present in all moments and I just try to have fun. I used to plan everything and then stress out about every aspect of an event. If family came to visit my house, I was worried about it being clean enough, I worried about them liking the food I served, and I wanted to make sure everyone was enjoying themselves. The only thing was, I was worn out and didn't get to enjoy myself. Then I realized that things don't need to be perfect and it's not my responsibility to make sure everyone else is happy. The only one I can make happy is myself.

I choose the life I am living and those choices I make determine my happiness. I can't keep delaying my happiness waiting for everything to be "perfect". I can't expect happiness once I have certain people in my life. Happiness is now and I am the only one who can control it.

Figure out what makes you happy and go for it. Don't be afraid of failure. Those things that are truly meant for you will work out. Dance to the music, play in the rain, sing at the top of your lungs, and wear that dress. Don't worry about what other people think of you, just be happy!


RR Stokes
RR Stokes
Jul 27, 2023

The only way I could ever be happy was to make sure everyone else was happy. If I ever did anything for myself I worried people would be mad and the guilt set in. Guilty my whole life of trying my hardest to make sure everyone was comfortable. For me it’s still so hard to find my OWN happiness. I am working on it. I love this because it gives me hope.

Jacquelyn Luby
Jacquelyn Luby
Jul 27, 2023
Replying to

Healing takes time, and there will be times that you revert back to your old ways, but don't give up. Take it one day at a time and do what you can, as you can. You can find happiness.


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