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This Year We Are Spending Christmas at Home



The holidays are in full swing. While this can be a happy and exciting time for many, this time may also be a burden for some. For those with toxic family, the holidays may be one of the few times you spend time with some family and friends each year. You may feel obligated to make an appearance at a family gathering, church event, or company party.


While some family members may guilt you into attending their holiday event, I want to assure you that you don't owe them anything. You are not obligated to be anywhere you don't want to be. I can remember the years my husband and I would coordinate events with both of our families each holiday. We tried so many variations to make everyone else satisfied. We tried alternating holidays, attending one family in the morning and one in the afternoon, and one on Christmas Eve and the other on Christmas. It seems like not matter what we did we were stretched too thin and neither if us were having a good time.


My toxic family made me feel like no matter what we did it was never enough. I never felt comfortable at their houses and I always felt like I was inconveniencing them because they were working around my work schedule. Plans were always so last minute and I didn't get the feeling they wanted to spend time with me. I eventually became too much and I decided to only spend time with those who were adding to my happiness and joy.


This year we have decided to spend time with our extended family before Christmas and we are staying home on Christmas day. We plan to spend our day in pajamas, eating, watching Christmas movies, listening to Christmas music, and laughing a lot. Our daughter asked if we could stay home so she could play with her toys and not have to go somewhere else. I told her it was a wonderful idea and we made it happen. The truth is we could all use a slow, relaxing day with no obligations.


Don't be afraid to say no this time of the year, or any time of the year. Do what is best for you and your family.

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