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Perfection Does Not Exist

Perfection is an unobtainable, unreachable idea. Many people who have been abused strive to be perfect. They think that if they were better, the abuse wouldn't have happened. I want you to know that the abuse had nothing to do with you. You did not do anything that would make you deserve to be treated that way. You are allowed to make mistakes just like everyone else is.

Parents are supposed to be loving, kind, and patient. While everyone has their bad days, it is never acceptable for parents to abuse their children. Those parents who were raised by abusive parents often blame it on their lack of knowledge or guidance. The truth is, no matter what abuse you suffered, you should be able to realize how a person should be treated. If you were treated in a way that harmed you, then you should not want that same life for your child. It's time to stop accepting the excuses and to move towards healing.

Your child does not expect you to be perfect and trying to make everything perfect will only wear you out and set unrealistic expectations for them when they become parents. I used to think that birthdays and holidays had to be perfect. I focused on creating traditions, making menus, and getting the best gifts. In the end I was so tired that I couldn't enjoy myself. Your children would much rather spend time with you then going to theme parks and having elaborate celebrations. They won't remember a thing except for if you were there.

Instead of buying expensive toys, create something with your child. Instead of going to the movie theater, make popcorn and stay home. Instead of inviting their whole classes to a pool party, go to the park. We enjoy camping as a family so each year we go camping for each of our birthdays. I always ask my daughter if she wants to have a party, but she would rather it be just us. We hike, fish, kayak and enjoy each other's company. It's something that we all look forward to each year.

Spend more time making memories and less money on things. You will see what a difference it makes.


Perfection is an illusion.

An ever changing, never reaching idea.

An eye of the beholder, idea of the minute suggestion.

To reach perfection is to be a disappointment to someone.

Once person's idea of perfection is another's idea of failure.

Perfection today is less than tomorrow.

Holding on to the idea of perfection is dangerous.

Pushing yourself to achieve the unobtainable.

Resulting in disappointment and a critical self-view.



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