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Learning How to Love Yourself


When you're recovering from trauma, it can seem impossible to love yourself. The action can seem foreign and unrealistic. You may think that loving yourself seems selfish and vain. You may see yourself as unlovable or unworthy. Whatever thoughts you are having, know that loving yourself is possible and beneficial to your healing.


I understand how difficult loving yourself can be because I have also struggled to find love for myself. I once saw myself as unworthy and unlovable. I saw only my flaws and thought they were what defined me. I listened to what toxic people had told me because I thought they knew me better than I knew myself.


I have been on my healing journey for the last four years, and in this time I have read countless self-help books, listened to podcasts, spoken to therapists, and looked inside to find answers to my deepest questions. Through my research and discovery, I have found a love for myself that I never thought was possible.


Here are the ways I discovered myself and a love for me that is now unbreakable.


We are all the same

Yep, you read that right. We are all the same. It doesn't matter how you grew up or what training and education you received. We are all human beings and we all deserve the same love and respect. No one should be put above another, and no one is worth less than another.


You are worth just as much as the richest and poorest individuals. You deserve happiness just as much as every other person on the planet. You matter, and you are enough just the way you are.


You are only responsible for your feelings

You cannot control anyone's reactions or actions, other than your own. How someone reacts to what you say or do is not your fault. They are responsible for their own actions and reactions.


You cannot make other people happy, sad, or feel any other emotions. Their emotions are a direct response to their own actions and reactions. Stop blaming yourself for how someone else is acting or feeling.


What you want is important

Your thoughts , dreams, and wants are just as important as everyone else's. You get to express yourself and voice your opinion. You are the only one who can stand up for what you want, so don't be afraid to do it.


Give yourself time and grace as you learn how to love yourself. Give yourself the same patience and respect that you give to everyone else. Speak to yourself with love and kindness. The more you do it, the more confidence you will build.


Be you, only you can!




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